Just another kid that floats under the radar...

tastefullyoffensive: [@mulaney]

Mon, 20 May 2013 19:15:35 -0500

[@mulaney]

carnivalowl: Saying that a man and a woman can’t be “just” friends is like assuming that a bisexual...

Mon, 20 May 2013 19:15:24 -0500

Saying that a man and a woman can’t be “just” friends is like assuming that a bisexual can’t have any friends at all because they might get a sudden urge to fuck them.

"Some of you are graduating summa cum laude. Some of you are graduating magna cum laude. And some of..."

Mon, 20 May 2013 19:07:05 -0500

“Some of you are graduating summa cum laude. Some of you are graduating magna cum laude. And some of you are graduating thank you laude.”

- PRESIDENT OBAMA, giving the commencement speech at Morehouse College (via CBS News)

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 10:25:40 -0500

What if I walked up to Robert Pattinson when he was surrounded by a bunch of Twilight fans and then pushed to the front and asked him to sign my copy of The Goblet of Fire.

Mon, 20 May 2013 10:19:14 -0500

dobbyfredsirius:

drkarayua:

silent-renegade:

I strongly believe that man would actually start crying

Didn’t you hear about that time he was being swamped by twihards for autographs screaming EDWARD EDWARD and he ignored the fuck out of all of them. But then someone yells CEDRIC and that person is the only one who left with an autograph that day.

and only one fuck was given that day

sodamnrelatable: when you hear everyone flipping the test page over but you’re still on question...

Mon, 20 May 2013 10:05:48 -0500

sodamnrelatable:

when you hear everyone flipping the test page over but you’re still on question 2

teenytigress: SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR...

Mon, 20 May 2013 10:05:35 -0500

teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

satans-fabulous-blog: morphingly: brightredkettle: are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours...

Mon, 20 May 2013 10:05:31 -0500

satans-fabulous-blog:

morphingly:

brightredkettle:

are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes

with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks

That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.

adorability: acidpunch: what if u woke up tomorrow and it was the first day of seventh grade and...

Mon, 20 May 2013 10:04:25 -0500

adorability:

acidpunch:

what if u woke up tomorrow and it was the first day of seventh grade and everythings that happened since then was just a dream

Conversation I had with my dad today as we were outside the supermarket.

Mon, 20 May 2013 10:01:10 -0500

me: *notices a cab that just so happens to be the modern make of a chevy impala*
me: ew
dad: what?
me: is that what impalas look like anymore? that's an awful looking car.
dad: you know, impalas used to be really nice cars. my friend had one when i was younger
me: what year was the model?
dad: uhh, '67 i think, with a really nice black paint job. yeah, they used to be beautiful cars, huge with four doors. then they modernized it and turned it into that *points to new impala* you have no idea how nice this car was
me: i know how awesome impalas are, i want one really bad. well a classic anyway.
dad: i remember one time, he was gonna sell it... i think he kept it though. i should've bought it.
me: why didn't you?
dad: he moved away or i didn't have enough money, i don't remember.
me: that sucks.
dad: come to think of it, i didn't see him much
me: why not?
dad: i don't know, he liked road trips a lot. he always came back after some time but he was gone a lot.
me: what was his name?
dad: john.

whatshouldwecallpharmd: What my slide said. And what it should...

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:28:46 -0500

whatshouldwecallpharmd:

What my slide said.

And what it should have said.

rxkittycat: Everyone’s favorite drug!

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:27:03 -0500

rxkittycat:

Everyone’s favorite drug!

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:24:44 -0500

worthlessxangel666: Haha he’s really happy xD

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:24:01 -0500

worthlessxangel666:

Haha he’s really happy xD

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:23:52 -0500

yanny-10: Heeeeeyyyy! Sorry guys for not posting animes these...

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:20:52 -0500

yanny-10:

Heeeeeyyyy! Sorry guys for not posting animes these past few days because I had my internship as a pharmacist. The best thing is that I just finish my 200 hours of duty..Hoooraahhh..anime time:))

missynice: I just saw that quote in our college. And I made it...

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:17:22 -0500

missynice:

I just saw that quote in our college. And I made it into a typo. ^^ I miss making one, it’s been a long long time. :)

"Oh the things you can fill For the folks who are ill. With your bright shiny spatula Oh, what..."

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:12:46 -0500

“Oh the things you can fill
For the folks who are ill.
With your bright shiny spatula
Oh, what a thrill.

Besmocked and bedecked out
In Pharmacist clothes
Knowing all of the things
That a Pharmacist knows.

You’re quick and efficient,
You’re sharp and inventive.
It also just happens
You’re anal retentive.

You read slips of paper
To get the specifics
From doctors who scribble out
Strange hieroglyphics.

Could it be Celebrex?
Or maybe Celexa
It might be a Z-Pack
Then it might be Zyprexa

And you bill by computer
AWP
Minus 15 percent
Plus a buck twenty-three.

You fill and you bill
And you feel so dejected
‘Cause half of your claims
Are being rejected.

So you pick up the phone
While computerized voices
Keep you waiting forever
Explaining the choices.

Press 1 for directions.
Or maybe it’s 2.
Push ‘pound’ for a message
Oh, what should you do.

Then you pour out the pills
On your pill counting tray
And you count, and you count
And you count pills all day.

You count them by fives
To the rhythm and beat
Of the songs that you learned
On Sesame Street

And the customers gripe
And complain while you’re fillin’
Could it be the whole world
Is on ‘Grouchacillin?’

My pills are too big
And my co-pay’s too high!
Take it four times a day?
I cannot comply!

Then you scarf down your
sandwich
In one single bite
Which if done in a restaurant
Would be impolite

But a Doc’s on line one
Mrs. Jones on line two
She has 500 pills
Will you cut them in two?

And the drug reps, they tap
On your counter, tap, tap.
To give you their spiel
Plus a load of free crap!

There’s pens and there’s post-its
There’s free stuff galore
But the really cool clock’s
For the doc who’s next door

Then ol’ Mrs. Snifflemore
Gives you that smile
And you know once again
That it’s almost worthwhile

So you hang up your smock
And put down your free pen.
Tomorrow you’ll do it
All over again.

Oh the things you will fill
For the folks who are ill.
With your bright shiny spatula
Oh, what a thrill!”

- Author unknown, Oh The Things You Can Fill (via lackiejee)

itsstarkidsunnieshello: just saw this on twitter. this is...

Sun, 19 May 2013 13:56:37 -0500

itsstarkidsunnieshello:

just saw this on twitter.
this is perfect.
OMG.
I can’t even.

I hate my friends

Sun, 19 May 2013 12:18:53 -0500

lunaticphan:

So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT

But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut.

Cry